lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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