I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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