Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize