Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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