I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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