I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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