Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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