so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize