even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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