I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize