We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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