Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize