I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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