Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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