i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize