i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize