Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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