My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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