my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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