wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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