Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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