Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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