I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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