Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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