I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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