As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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