He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
stop calling my apartment porn island.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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