She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize