it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize