Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize