Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize