I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
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Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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