Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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