Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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