This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize