My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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