if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize