still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize