he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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