As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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