Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
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Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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