I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
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Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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Im part way to drunk.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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