He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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