im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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