True but thats because hes a fetus.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize