i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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