don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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