ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
