I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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