Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize